A child with ADHD may collect corrections all day, small ones, one after another, until something starts to give. Long before the symptoms themselves cause lasting harm, a child can quietly conclude that school is not a place they are good at. Drawing on research discussed during a webinar by clinical psychologist Erin Schoenfelder Gonzalez, this article explores how the cumulative experience of everyday classroom interactions may shape a child’s confidence, relationships and sense of belonging at school.
A day of small corrections
Over a morning in class, the corrections a child with ADHD receives can mount up: a reminder to get started, another to find the right page. Each one may be reasonable on its own, but there can be a great many by home time. One of the earliest areas affected may be academic confidence. Work might start to feel like punishment, and a child who rarely finishes, or finishes in a rush and full of errors, may stop feeling capable of it. This can wear at a child’s confidence little by little, until they start to think they are not clever enough, and that school may not be a place for them. That belief seems worth protecting against, because once a child begins to see themselves as “not a school person”, re-engaging them with learning and rebuilding confidence may become considerably more difficult.
A reputation takes hold
The cost may not stay academic, and repeated classroom experiences can also shape peer relationships and the child’s relationship with teachers. This varies a lot between children: some have easy, warm social skills and no shortage of friends. For others, reacting a beat too fast, or missing the moment a game has gone far enough, can start to gather a social record alongside the academic one. Much of that teacher feedback happens in front of everyone, and children notice who receives it. Teachers may also experience the cumulative effect of repeated redirection: redirecting the same child repeatedly is tiring, and on a hard day a response can come out sharper, or simply differ from the day before, and that unevenness wears at a relationship that everything else depends on.
The longer view
A child’s social world, and what school comes to mean to them, seem to matter well beyond the classroom. The daily experience carries a weight of its own. What appears to protect against it is the warmth and consistency of the key adults in a child’s life, teachers among them. A child who knows an adult will respond kindly, and in much the same way each time, has something to hold onto that a difficult day does not take away. It is a demanding standard, and it places the adult, rather than the child, at the centre of what can change.
The adult as a steadying presence
The corrections cannot simply be removed, but the balance around them can shift. During the webinar, Schoenfelder Gonzalez highlighted the value of aiming for several positive interactions for every corrective one, often described as roughly a three-to-one balance. That may be out of reach in a busy classroom, but something of it can still be done: noticing small successes, recognising effort as well as achievement, and finding opportunities for a child to be known for something positive, even if it is simply their enthusiasm for turtles! A child with ADHD can spend a fair amount of time in rough water. The adults nearby can work a little like a breakwater, using their own steadiness to keep some of the force off while the child is with them. None of this lowers expectations, and it may be closer to what makes them reachable.
Closing
What is encouraging is that the balance is not fixed. Harm can build quietly, through moments too small to notice on any given day, and the same may be true of what helps to offset it. Maintaining a three-to-one balance will not always be realistic, particularly on the most demanding days. Still, children working out whether school is a place for them are also reading the adults around them. Consistent, supportive relationships can help make expectations feel more manageable and keep a child’s strengths in view.
Where next
Upcoming Webinars
Join this ACAMH Expert Half-Day exploring the increasingly recognised link between ADHD and depression in children and young people. As demand on services grows and presentations become more complex, understanding how these conditions interact is becoming ever more important. Includes talks from Professor Sinead Rhodes, Dr. Olga Eyre, and Dr. Ramya Srinivasan.
How to Support Distressed Pupils: School-Based Resilience Training
This training introduces school staff to an evidence-informed approach for supporting children and young people experiencing distress. Led by Dr. Arnon Bentovim, this session is run collaboration with Child and Family Training.
Assessment Tools and Interventions for Emotion (Dys)Regulation: Practical Approaches
Emotion regulation is a key skill for well-being, yet individuals, particularly those who are neurodivergent, may experience unique challenges in managing emotions in daily life. This two-part short course provides a practical approach to understanding, assessing, and providing personalised support across diverse populations.
ACAMH Learn Free Talks and Podcasts
How to support healthy behaviours in children with ADHD
5 Keys to Keep in Mind When Parenting a Child with ADHD